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国外熊孩子语录合辑:“我不去上学,我对人过敏。”

国外熊孩子语录合辑:“我不去上学,我对人过敏。”
2021年10月19日 12:00 新浪网 作者 新东方英语官方微博

  纽约有一个幼儿教师阿丽莎·考特,她每天都有很多时间和孩子们相处,而这些孩子们偶尔冒出的天马行空的句子,总会让她忍俊不禁。

  于是,她索性联合了迪士尼工作室的数字营销经理,共同创建了一个Ins账户名叫Live From Snack Time,专门记录这些孩子们的“惊人语录”。

  这些语录有着最简单的词汇,却能表达出孩子们的幽默与哲理。而成年人不仅可以通过这些话去理解孩子们的各种行为,甚至还能从这些话里产生一种共鸣。

  比如有一个孩子说,“I love the sound of no one talking.”(我喜欢没有人说话时的声音。)

  想象一下他坐在乱哄哄的孩子堆里,小朋友们大笑着或者哭闹着,只有他独自思索着——是不是有种鲁迅“人类的悲欢并不相通,我只觉得他们吵闹”的感觉了?

  接下来,就一起来看看:孩子们的小脑瓜里究竟在想些什么呢?

  1

  "Anyone could be a family, you just have to love each other and feed each other."

  每个人都可以拥有一个家庭,你们只需要彼此相爱,然后喂对方吃饭就好啦。

  2

  "I love the sound of no one talking."

  我喜欢没有人说话时的声音。

  3

  "I can't show you how much I missed you because my hands are too small."

  我没有办法给你展示我到底有多想你,因为我的手实在是太小啦。

  4

  "I'm not mad! I'm just hungry and I hate you."

  我才不是疯了呢!我只是肚子饿再加上讨厌你。

  5

  "If you're panicking and feel like you're dying, take deep breaths.

  If you're actually dying it won't work."

  如果你很慌张,感觉自己快要死了,就做个深呼吸。

  不过如果你确实是快死了,深呼吸也没用了。

  6

  "I'm too sad for pants."

  我为裤子而感到悲伤。

  7

  "Mom keeps having babies and I don't have enough legos for everyone."

  我的妈妈不停地生小宝宝,我已经没有足够的乐高玩具分给每个弟弟妹妹了。

  8

  "I've been having a hard day for the last two years."

  我度过了非常艰难的一天,这种状态已经持续两年了。

  9

  "I'm going to draw you, and then I'm going to erase you because you're not being very nice today."

  我会画一个你,然后擦掉你,因为你今天表现得不是非常好。

  10

  "Don't wipe my tears away. I want to feel them on my face."

  请别把我的眼泪擦掉。我想要感受它们流过我的脸颊。

  11

  "Shhh…I've had enough of words."

  嘘……我已经说够了。

  12

  "They told us to try something new while we are home quarantined so I think I should start drinking wine."

  他们告诉我说,隔离在家的时候可以尝试一些新鲜的玩意儿,所以我想我应该开始试着喝杯酒了。

  13

  "Mommy, just calm down. Get your brain out of your mouth."

  妈妈,你冷静一下。说话之前先过过脑子吧。

  14

  "Can you give me a timeout?

  I want to be alone."

  你能允许我暂时休息一会儿吗?

  我想独处。

  15

  "I'm thankful for words like awesome because without them I would not have many words to describe myself."

  我很感谢能有“太棒了”这类词汇的出现,因为如果没有它们,我就没法形容自己了。

  16

  "I don't even like you but I don't have other places for living."

  (Josie was asked to come in for dinner.)

  我可不喜欢你,但是我没有其他地方可以生存下去了。

  (这个名叫Josie的孩子被叫过来吃晚餐。)

  17

  "I wish this wasn't real life and I was just a refrigerator."

  我真希望这不是真实的生活,而我只是一台冰箱。

  18

  "I'm going to steal the wings off a bird, fly up, get you a star and then give the bird its wings back."

  我想要偷一双鸟儿的翅膀,飞上天,给你摘下一颗星星,然后再把鸟儿的翅膀还给它。

  19

  "So the more you sneeze the more blessed you are?"

  所以,你打的喷嚏越多,你收到的保佑就越多吗?

  (在西方国家,当一个人打喷嚏的时候,其他人会说“上帝保佑你”god bless you之类的话)

  20

  "I'm afraid of school because I'm allergic to people."

  我害怕去上学,因为我对人群过敏。

  21

  "If I was the Princess Jasmine, I would have taken the carpet and flown away."

  如果我是茉莉公主(经典童话故事阿拉丁神灯里的女主角),我就会乘着飞天神毯飞得远远的。

  22

  "Let's play Cops and Roberts! I'll be Robert."

  我们来玩警察和罗伯茨的游戏吧!我来扮演罗伯茨。

  23

  " Shhh…I'm having a pizza dream."

  嘘……我正梦见披萨呢。

  24

  "If you don't want to be stressed out, just don't go to work!"

  如果你不想要压力这么大,就别去工作!

  25

  "I talk a lot. I don't know why. 

  I have questions all the time!"

  我的话很多。我不知道为什么。

  我随时随地都有无数个问题!

  26

  "I'm drawing a picture of bread instead of my brother because I don't like my brother today."

  我今天不想画我的哥哥,只想画一个面包,因为我今天不喜欢他了。

  27

  "I'm not insulting you, 

  I'm describing you.”

  我不是在污蔑你,我只是在形容你。

  28

  "Parmesan cheese is like glitter for your spaghetti."

  帕玛森芝士就像意大利面的闪光点。

  29

  "I can't be quiet, my mouth gets itchy when it has words in it!"

  我完全不能安静下来,每当我嘴边有想要说的话时,我的嘴巴就超级痒的!

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