今天上午，演员魏嘉控诉《家有儿女》夏东海扮演者高亚麟孕期出轨、家暴等，引发热议。
🤔️小作业：
1. How do public perceptions of infidelity compare to actual infidelity rates according to research?
A) They are significantly underestimated.
B) They are overestimated by a small margin.
C) They are exactly aligned with research findings.
D) No research exists on public perceptions of infidelity.
2. What psychological suggestion does Susan Boon offer to explain low suspicion rates among partners regarding cheating?
A) People naturally suspect the worst in others.
B) People generally have an inflated sense of positive outcomes.
C) People are inherently distrustful of research.
D) Partners typically discuss infidelity openly.
- ◆ -
注：中文文本为BBC官方译文，仅供参考
Why we need to talk about cheating
From: BBC, 26 June 2019
Mike Pence refuses todinealone with women other than his wife. For the US vice president it is a mark of respect for his wife, Karen, and a rule guided by his strongreligious convictions. Somecommentatorshavehailedit the solution for men unable to control themselves, others call itpatronising, sexist andinsulting.
美国副总统麦克·彭斯（Mike Pence）拒绝同妻子之外的异性单独共餐。这是出于他对妻子凯伦（Karen）的尊重，也是出于他强烈的宗教信仰。有评论家称，此举是男人无法自控的应对之术，但也有人批评说这是屈尊就卑的姿态，是性别歧视和对他人的侮辱。
dine
dine /daɪn/ 表示“吃正餐；吃晚饭”，英文解释为“to eat the main meal of the day, usually in the evening”举个🌰：I like dining alone. 我喜欢一个人吃晚饭。
religious
religious /rɪˈlɪdʒ.əs/ 1）表示“宗教的；宗教上的”，英文解释为“relating to religion”如：religious education 宗教教育；
2）表示“笃信宗教的；虔诚的”，英文解释为“having a strong belief in a god or gods”举个🌰：He's deeply religious and goes to church twice a week. 他非常虔诚，每周都去教堂做两次礼拜。
conviction
conviction /kənˈvɪk.ʃən/ 1）表示“坚定的看法；坚定的信念；坚定的信仰”，英文解释为“a strong opinion or belief”如：a deep/strong/lifelong conviction 深深的/坚定的/终生的信仰。
2）表示“定罪，判罪”，英文解释为“the fact of officially being found to be guilty of a particular crime, or the act of officially finding someone guilty”举个🌰：Since it was her first conviction for stealing, she was given a less severe sentence. 由于她是初次犯盗窃罪，对她的量刑不是很重。
🎬电影《玉子》（Okja）中的台词提到：I admire your conviction, Silver, 我敬佩你的决心。
commentator
commentator /ˈkɒm.ən.teɪ.tər/ 表示“（广播或电视的）解说员，评论员”，英文解释为“a reporter for radio or television who provides a spoken description of and remarks on an event, especially a sports competition, as it happens”如：a radio commentator 广播解说员。
hail
hail /heɪl/ 作动词 1）表示“招呼，呼喊”，英文解释为“to call someone in order to attract their attention”举个🌰：Shall we hail a taxi? 我们要叫出租车吗？
2）hail sb/sth as sth 表示“把…称赞为，把…誉为”，英文解释为“to describe sb/sth as being very good or special, especially in newspapers, etc.”举个🌰：The conference was hailed as a great success. 会议被称颂为一次巨大的成功。
hail作不可数名词，表示“雹，冰雹”，英文解释为“small, hard balls of ice that fall from the sky like rain”，hailstones 通常复数，表示“冰雹，雹子”，英文解释为“a small, hard ball of ice that falls from the sky like rain”。
📍ride-hailing 表示“约车，叫车”，英文解释为“used for or involved in the activity of asking for a car and driver to come immediately and take you somewhere”举个🌰：Do you use a ride-hailing app? 你用约车APP吗？
patronise
英式 patronise 美式 patronize /ˈpæt.rə.naɪz/ 表示“屈尊俯就地对待；对…摆出高人一等的派头”，英文解释为“to speak to or behave towards someone as if they are stupid or not important”举个🌰：Stop patronizing me. 别对我摆出屈尊俯就的样子。
insult
insult /ˈɪn.sʌlt/ 可以作名词，也可以作动词，表示“侮辱，辱骂”，英文解释为“to say or do something to someone that is rude or offensive”举个🌰：First he drank all my wine and then he insulted all my friends. 他先喝光了我的酒，然后又辱骂了我所有的朋友。
📍insulting可以作形容词，表示“侮辱的，有冒犯性的，无礼的”（rude or offensive）。
It is not an entirely rare attitude, however: in one study, around 5.7% of people surveyed thought that buying food for someone of the opposite sex wouldqualifyas an act ofinfidelity.
支持者并不在少数：有一项研究发现，有5.7%的受访者认为，买食物给异性无异于不忠。
qualify
qualify /ˈkwɒl.ɪ.faɪ/ 1）表示“（使）具有资格，（使）合格”，英文解释为“to successfully finish a training course so that you are able to do a job; to have or achieve the necessary skills, etc.”举个🌰：She hopes to qualify (as a teacher) at the end of the year. 她希望在年底获得（教师）资格。
🎬电影《合伙人》（The Company Men）中的台词提到：只靠我的薪水我们不可能再成功申请房贷 We're not going to be able to qualify for another house on just my salary.
2）表示“达标；获得参赛资格”，英文解释为“to be of a high enough standard to enter a competition; to defeat another person or team in order to enter or continue in a competition”举个🌰：He failed to qualify. 他未能获得参赛资格。
infidelity
infidelity /ˌɪn.fɪˈdel.ə.ti/ 表示“（夫妇间的）不忠实，不贞行为”，英文解释为“(an act of) having sex with someone who is not your husband, wife, or regular sexual partner”如：marital/sexual infidelity 婚姻/性方面的不忠。
📍此前，在《致命女人》大结局 续订第二季一文中就提到过infidelity这个词。《致命女人》讲述的是三位生活在不同年代的女性：60年代的家庭主妇，80年代的社交名媛和2018年的律师，处理着婚姻中的不忠行为。For those who have yet to indulge in Why Women Kill, the series follows the lives of three women from different decades—Ginnifer Goodwin plays a housewife in the '60s, Lucy Liu a socialite in the '80s, and Kirby Howell-Baptiste a lawyer in 2019—and examines how each one deals with infidelity in their marriage.
Whatever you think about Pence'sjustifications, at least he and Karen have clear boundaries about what is appropriate to do with people of the opposite sex – which is more than can be said for a lot ofheterosexualcouples.
无论我们怎么解读彭斯的行为，至少他和妻子对如何与异性相处是确定了清晰的边界。在异性恋伴侣之中，这种模式是比较值得一提的。
justification
justification /ˌdʒʌs.tɪ.fɪˈkeɪ.ʃən/ 表示“正当的理由；辩解”，英文解释为“a good reason or explanation for something”举个🌰：There is no justification for treating people so badly. 没有理由如此恶劣地对待他人。
heterosexual
heterosexual /ˌhet.ər.əˈsek.ʃu.əl/ 表示“异性恋者”，英文解释为“a person who is sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex”
Most people rarely have good definitions of exactly what it means to be unfaithful, and vastlyunderestimatehow likely it is that some kind ofbetrayalwill occur (despite being unfaithful themselves). They also have little understanding of how they will deal with infidelity if it does occur (with many people's reactions surprising them).
到底怎么样算不忠，很多人都没有明确的定义，他们也大大低估了伴侣背叛的概率（尽管有时，自己也并不够忠诚）。他们也不知道的，如果伴侣不忠应该如何回应（很多人的反应都出乎意料）。
underestimate
underestimate /ˌʌn.dəˈres.tɪ.meɪt/ 表示“低估；（对…）估计不足”，英文解释为“to fail to guess or understand the real cost, size, difficulty, etc. of something”举个🌰：Don't underestimate the difficulties of getting both parties to the conference table. 要让双方坐下来谈判，难度不可小觑。
betrayal
betrayal /bɪˈtreɪ.əl/ 表示“（被）背叛的行为;（被）出卖的行为”，英文解释为“an act of betraying someone or something, or the fact of someone or something being betrayed”举个🌰：This was the first in a series of betrayals. 这是一系列背叛事件中的第一件。
Given itsprevalence, that's lack of communication and understanding is causing a lot of heartbreak – and many psychologists suggest that we should have much more open conversations about cheating.
我们知道，不忠现象并不在少数。一旦发现伴侣不忠，会让人心碎、又无人可以倾诉，因此许多心理学家建议，人们需要以更公开的方式谈论不忠现象。
prevalence
prevalence /ˈprev.əl.əns/ 表示“流行，盛行；普遍，广泛”，英文解释为“the fact that something is very common or happens often”如：the prevalence of smoking among teenagers 青少年吸烟的普遍性。
Working out how many people have ever been unfaithful is challenging, not least because researchers arerelianton the honestconfessionsof cheaters. As a result, estimates of infidelity can vary wildly and are often affected by how data are collected. At the higher end of estimates, 75% of men and 68% of women admitted to cheating in some way, at some point, in a relationship (although, more up-to-date research from 2017 suggests that men and women are now engaging in infidelity at similar rates). One of the lowest published rates of infidelity is 14% – still a sizeable number.
有多少人曾对伴侣不忠，这是很难统计的。尤其是因为研究人员的数据来源，仅为那些坦白承认自己对伴侣不忠的人。因此，预估的数据会有较大的偏差，通常会受数据收集方式的影响。最高估计值显示，有75%的男性和68%的女性承认曾经出轨（虽然，2017年的最新数据显示，男女出轨概率已经趋同）。按其中一份已公布的最低估计数据，有14%的人曾经出轨，但这也是一个不小的数字。
reliant
reliant /rɪˈlaɪ.ənt/ 表示“依赖的，依靠的”，英文解释为“needing a particular thing or person in order to continue, to work correctly, or to succeed”举个🌰：He's completely reliant on his wheelchair to get about. 他完全依靠轮椅出行。
confession
confession /kənˈfeʃ.ən/ 1）表示“坦白；供认，招认；承认”，英文解释为“the act of admitting that you have done something wrong or illegal”举个🌰：I have a confession to make - I've lost that book you lent me. 我有件事要坦白——我把你借给我的那本书丢了。
2）表示“忏悔，告罪”，英文解释为“an occasion when a Christian tells God or, especially in the Roman Catholic Church, tells a priest formally and privately, what they have done wrong so that they can be forgiven”
Yet only 5% of people believe that their own partner had cheated or will cheat at some point in their relationship, meaning that even the mostconservativeestimates would suggest that this happens much more frequently than expected. Perhaps we're too trusting of our partners.
尽管如此，相信伴侣曾出轨过、或者有出轨心思的，只有5%。这也就是说，出轨数据中最保守的数字都已经数倍于此数了。大概我们太过相信自己另一半的忠诚了。
conservative
conservative /kənˈsɜː.və.tɪv/ 作名词，表示“保守党，保守派”，作形容词，表示“保守的；守旧的”，英文解释为“not usually liking or trusting change, especially sudden change”如：a conservative society/outlook 保守的社会/观念。
Conservative 表示“（英国）保守党的”，英文解释为“belonging to or supporting the British political party that traditionally supports business and opposes high taxes and government involvement in industry”如：the Conservative Party 保守党，Conservative policies 保守党奉行的政策。
“Those of us who are not depressed generally have a reallyinflatedsense of how likely good things will happen andundulylow sense that bad things will happen,” says Susan Boon of the University of Calgary. “One possibility is that our lowpresumptionthat our partners will cheat on us is amanifestationof that. Alternatively, when you are in a relationship it might be helpful to have faith in your partner because it would be unhealthy to monitor their behaviour all the time.”
卡尔加里大学的布恩（Susan Boon）说：“我们中通常乐观的人觉得，好事会发生在自己身上，坏事会绕开自己走。我们对伴侣忠诚度之信任，也正是源于此。另外，一段恋爱关系中，最好还是对另一半抱有信任。因为时刻监视对方的一举一动，是十分畸形的。”
inflated
inflated /ɪnˈfleɪ.tɪd/ 表示“（价格、成本、数目等）过高的，过多的”，英文解释为“Inflated prices, costs, numbers, etc. are higher than they should be, or higher than people think is reasonable.”
unduly
unduly /ʌnˈdʒuː.li/ 表示“过度地；过分地”，英文解释为“more than is necessary, acceptable, or reasonable”举个🌰：There's no need to be unduly pessimistic about the situation. 对这情况无需过度悲观。
presumption
presumption /prɪˈzʌmp.ʃən/ 表示“推定，推测，假定”，英文解释为“the act of believing that something is true without having any proof”举个🌰：The presumption of innocence is central to American law. 美国法律的核心是无罪假定。
manifestation
manifestation /ˌmæn.ɪ.fesˈteɪ.ʃən/ 表示“表现；显现”，相当于“appearance”；也可以指“显示；表明”，英文解释为“a sign of something existing or happening”
Here lies one of the issues; cheating means different things to different people. Researchers might pre-define what cheatingconstitutesto them, but everyone has a different interpretation, so interviewees might not agree with them.
还有一个问题：不同的人，对于出轨的定义是不同的。研究人员会先行定义什么叫出轨，然而每个人对出轨的解读都有所不同，因此受访者也可能会不认同研究人员的定义。
constitute
英 /ˈkɒnstɪtjuːt/ 美 /ˈkɑːnstɪtuːt/ 除了表示“组成”，等同于make up，还可以表示“构成，被视为，被算作”，英文解释为“If something constitutes a particular thing, it can be regarded as being that thing.”如：constitute a professional and legal offence 构成职业和法律犯罪；举个🌰：Failing to complete the work constitutes a breach of the employment contract. 不能完成工作被视为违反雇用合同。The rise in crime constitutes a threat to society. 犯罪率上升对社会构成了威胁。
🎬电影《空中危机》（Flightplan）中的台词提到：A teddy bear does not constitute an inaccurate passenger manifest. 有一只泰迪熊并不代表 乘客名单出了错。
🎬电影《从足球流氓到黑帮崛起3》（Rise of the Footsoldier 3）中的台词提到：High on drink and pills does not constitute as a defense. 醉药 醉酒 不能作为辩护证据。
“People overestimate the extent to which others approve of and engage in infidelity in relation to how much they do,” says Boon. “I'm not sure why people don't talk about it considering how often you see it in movies or songs. Part of it is that we're not aware of thevariabilityof standards. Weassumewrongly that what I consider unfaithful you would too. It also admits that maybe this could happen. People would prefer to believe that you wouldn't do this.”
伯恩表示：“人们会高估他人对出轨的容忍度以及他人出轨的可能性。出轨是电影和歌曲中经常出现的题材，但我不知道为什么现实中鲜有人谈及。我想有一点原因是，不同人有不同的出轨标准。人们会认为，自己眼中的不忠行为在别人看来也是如此，这个观点是错误的。这也默认了出轨的可能性，只是人们愿意相信你不是那种人而已。”
variability
variability /ˌveə.ri.əˈbɪl.ə.ti/ 表示“多变性；可变性；易变性；反复不定”，英文解释为“the quality or fact of being variable (= likely to change often)”举个🌰：The polar regions exhibit the largest climatic variability on Earth. 极地最大限度地显示出了地球上气候的多变性。
assume
assume /əˈsjuːm/ 1）表示“假定；假设；认为”，英文解释为“to think or accept that sth is true but without having proof of it”举个🌰：It is generally assumed that stress is caused by too much work. 普遍认为，紧张是工作过重所致。
2）表示“承担，担任；僭取，夺取；呈现，具有”，英文解释为“to take or begin to have responsibility or control, sometimes without the right to do so, or to begin to have a characteristic”举个🌰：The new president assumes office at midnight tonight. 新总统在今晚午夜就职。
About 70% of people have not discussed with their partner what counts as cheating. Does downloading a dating app count, for example? Between 18% and 25% of Tinder users are in a committed relationship while using the dating app.Presumably, meeting up with people you met on Tinder does. Unsurprisingly, Tinder users who are already in relationships are more likely to have casual sex.
如何界定出轨？有70%的人从未与伴侣讨论过这个话题。比如说，下载了交友软件就算不忠吗？Tinder（陌生人交友软件）用户中，出于恋爱关系的占到了18%-25%。又或许和Tinder网友线下约会应该算是出轨。已经有男女朋友的Tinder用户约炮的概率更高，这也不足为奇了。
presumably
presumably /prɪˈzuː.mə.bli/ 表示“据推测，大概，可能”，英文解释为“used to say what you think is the likely situation”举个🌰：They can presumably afford to buy a bigger apartment. 他们大概买得起一套大一点的公寓。
The people responding to the question about whether they thought their partner had ever been unfaithful were free tointerpretinfidelity in any way they chose. Perhaps that makes the 5% statistic even more surprising. For some people, cheating might only include sex, but for others,flirtingwith someone might count. With the freedom to interpret infidelity as we wish, we're still very optmisitic that it will never happen to us.
被问及是否怀疑过对方出轨时，受访者可以自行界定“出轨”的范畴。5%这一数据也就因此更让人吃惊了。有的人认为只有发生了性关系才算真正出轨，但也有人觉得调情就是出轨。即使我们能自行界定出轨的标准，却还是会盲目自信，觉得绿云不会罩在自己头上。
interpret
interpret /ɪnˈtɜː.prɪt/ 1）表示“诠释；说明”，英文解释为“to explain the meaning of sth”举个🌰：The students were asked to interpret the poem. 学生们被要求诠释那首诗的意义。
2）表示“把…理解为；领会”，英文解释为“to decide that sth has a particular meaning and to understand it in this way ”举个🌰：The data can be interpreted in many different ways. 这份资料可以从多方面解读。
3）表示“演绎（按自己的感觉演奏音乐或表现角色）”，英文解释为“to perform a piece of music, a role in a play, etc. in a way that shows your feelings about its meaning”举个🌰：He interpreted the role with a lot of humour. 他把这个角色演得十分幽默。
4）表示“翻译，口译”，英文解释为“to change what someone is saying into another language”
flirt
flirt /flɜːt/ 表示“调情，打情骂俏”，英文解释为“to behave as if sexually attracted to someone, although not seriously”举个🌰：She was flirting with just about every man in the room. 她几乎在跟房间里的每一个男人调情。
flirt with sth 1）表示“不认真地考虑；对…暂时感兴趣”，英文解释为“to consider doing something, but not seriously, or to be interested in something for a short time”举个🌰：I'm flirting with the idea of taking a year off and travelling round the world. 我心血来潮，想休假一年去周游世界。
2）表示“故意冒（险）”，英文解释为“to intentionally take risks and put yourself in a dangerous or difficult situation”举个🌰：Like a lot of young men, he flirts with danger. 和许多年轻人一样，他也喜欢冒险。
Defining emotional infidelity is particularly difficult. One place where emotionaltransgressionsmight occur is in the workplace whereoverlappingprofessional and personal interests result in close relationships. Plausibly this would allow for opportunities to transgress frominnocuousfriendships to something moreintimate.
最难定义的是仅止于感情上的不忠。职场上很容易出现感情出轨，因为同事间职能互相重合、个人利益交织，容易产生亲密关系。於是这就给了单纯的友谊升级为暧昧关系的机会。
transgression
transgression /trænzˈɡreʃ.ən/ 表示“违反，违法；侵犯；过失，错误”，英文解释为“the act or process of breaking a law or moral rule, or an example of this”举个🌰：Who is supposed to have committed these transgressions? 谁被认为是犯了这些过错的人？
overlapping
overlapping /ˌəʊ.vəˈlæp.ɪŋ/ 表示“交叠的，部分重叠的，叠盖的”，英文解释为“covering something partly by going over its edge, or covering part of the same space”举个🌰：The overlapping slates of the roofs in the mountain village resembled fish scales. 山村里屋顶叠盖的石板看上去像鱼鳞一样。
innocuous
innocuous /ɪˈnɒk.ju.əs/ 表示“无害的；无恶意的；无意冒犯的”，英文解释为“completely harmless (= causing no harm)；not intended to offend or upset anyone”举个🌰：Some mushrooms look innocuous but are in fact poisonous. 有些蘑菇貌似无害，但实际上有毒。
intimate
intimate /ˈɪn.tɪ.mət/ 表示“亲密的；有性关系的；宜于密切关系的”，英文解释为“having, or being likely to cause, a very close friendship or personal or sexual relationship”如：intimate relationships 亲密关系，举个🌰：The restaurant has a very intimate atmosphere. 这家餐厅的氛围很怡人。
In one study, researchers interviewed women about their attitudes towards workplace relationships. These women, all in their 30s and 40s and in committed relationships, were asked about times they felt the lines between appropriate and inappropriate workplace relationships becameblurry.
有研究人员曾对女性进行过调查，询问了她们对于办公室恋情的看法。受访者年龄在30至40岁之间，且都不是单身。研究人员询问了她们经历过多少次界限模糊的时刻。
blurry
blurry /ˈblɜːrɪ/ 1）表示“模糊不清的”，英文解释为“without a clear outline; not clear”如：a blurry picture 模糊的照片。
2）表示“不清楚的，不确定的”，英文解释为“not clear and definite”举个🌰：The law in this area is blurry. 这一领域的法律模糊不清。
“I can't lie, I look forward to seeing him at work,” said one interviewee, “it feels like a stupid school girl, you know, like when you have acrushon somebody and you see them and you're like 'Oh!' and you get excited.”
有一位受访者表示：“工作的时候我是很期待看到他的，我不能说谎。这种感觉就像是回到了学生时代，对别人产生了好感，一看见那个人就会‘噢！’地一下，整个人都激动了起来。”
crush
crush /krʌʃ/ 可以指“（短暂的）迷恋，热恋，爱慕；（尤指对年龄比自己大且并不熟识者的）迷恋，痴情”，英文解释为“a strong feeling of romantic love for someone, especially one that a young person has for someone older who they do not know well”举个🌰：She had a huge crush on her geography teacher. 她对地理老师非常迷恋。
crush也可以表示“（不大熟识的）热恋的对象，痴情的对象”，英文解释为“someone who you have a feeling of romantic love for, but who you do not know well”如：a first date with your crush 和你心仪的人的初次约会。
The interviewees concluded that physicalintimacyis not necessary toelicitfeelings of emotional infidelity.Withholdinginformation,confidingin another, even thinking about the other person if it prevents you from thinking about your partner were enough. These are all things that might happen considering the amount of time we spend at work and the nature of forming close relationships with coworkers.
受访者们普遍表示，肢体的亲密接触并非是引发精神出轨的必要条件。在一个人面前守口如瓶，却对另一个人知无不言，甚至想到那个人时会忘了自己的伴侣，这就足够是精神出轨了。鉴于上班的工作时间很长，与同事容易产生亲密关系，所以职场中常发生外遇出轨这类事情也就不难理解了。
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LearnAndRecord
2015年2月8日
2024年5月8日
第3378天
每天持续行动学外语
